Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sorry my hands just texted you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
