We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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