my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
try to milk me bitch
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