Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
