i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize