I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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