You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
