I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
