I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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