I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
