He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
