but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
being pregnant is like rehab
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize