Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
