Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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