Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
