I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
