i don't plan on having that self control this summer
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
