thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
