She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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