just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
