Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
