I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
