Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I've blown a few things in my day
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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