No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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