I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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