is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
