I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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