today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
