so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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