Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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