i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
