Dual....:-)
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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