On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
