i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's shark week go big or go home
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
