You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
