you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
