He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
