Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize