was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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