dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
