burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
