I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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