She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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