If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
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