apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
