DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
