I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
