It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize