lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He felt like a one man threesome
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
