Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
