Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
