how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
