Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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