if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Send help, water and tortillas.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
