It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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