Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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