Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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