Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize