So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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