ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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