If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize