I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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