I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
