too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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