I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
