you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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