summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize