I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
